Donnerstag, November 01, 2007
Passions and Purpose
I feel like I am walking in the desert. I don't know how or why I got to this point; it's like I woke up one morning and God was gone. I know that it is my fault. I haven't been reading my bible or talking to God as much. At all, really. Sure, I will open it and skim through it, but that is not what I want. I want to immerse myself in it. But I seem to find other things to occupy my time. Last week, I was on a YWAM base here in Germany. It made me remember Salem and all the good times there. I want that. I want to live with people that are passionate about Jesus. I miss it. At the same time, being around all those wonderful people with dreams and passions, made me realize I have no true dream or passion. I say I want to help kids, but I have no idea in which way. Do I want to teach them or make them healthy? Or maybe help train young adults to pursue their passions. I know I wouldn't be happy living in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and a dog my whole life. I want more. But I don't know what. I thought doing a DTS would help make me realize my passions, but it seemed to make them even less defined. I know God has a plan A for my life, but I want to know what that plan is. Or at least a direction to go in. When I go back to Grants Pass, I don't want to feel like I am taking a step backward. I want to keep moving forward. On to my destiny. This is a jumble of thoughts. I hope it somehow makes sense. Anyway, here is a quote I have been repeating over and over to myself- 'If God can make a shepard a king, turn fishermen into world changers, and a group of slaves into a nation, what more can He do with you?' I know there is a plan and a purpose for me, I just need to not rest until I find it.
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3 Kommentare:
DTS didnt make your passions less defined.... it made you see how many problems there are in the world, and know you dont know if you can fix them... they are too big.. there is too much to do . What if you pick the wrong problem to fix? what if you dont have the money needed? What if you have to go back to school? What if the process hurts... and you never end up making a difference?
perhaps part of being in the desert is narrow focus. I have been there many many times. I've been looking straight down, or focusing on some small thing so much that I've completely lost sight of God's big picture. (this is in more detail in my blog) the path has many branches...and there isn't one that is the exact perfect right one...they are all options! It's picking one and going for it! maybe it will dead end or take you in a completely different direction than you thought...but it's still better than standing still not doing anything! Plus the sooner you trust God and keep moving forward, the sooner you are out of the desert! Remember! God is never lost! And He is NEVER disappointed in you!
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