Passions and Purpose

I feel like I am walking in the desert. I don't know how or why I got to this point; it's like I woke up one morning and God was gone. I know that it is my fault. I haven't been reading my bible or talking to God as much. At all, really. Sure, I will open it and skim through it, but that is not what I want. I want to immerse myself in it. But I seem to find other things to occupy my time. Last week, I was on a YWAM base here in Germany. It made me remember Salem and all the good times there. I want that. I want to live with people that are passionate about Jesus. I miss it. At the same time, being around all those wonderful people with dreams and passions, made me realize I have no true dream or passion. I say I want to help kids, but I have no idea in which way. Do I want to teach them or make them healthy? Or maybe help train young adults to pursue their passions. I know I wouldn't be happy living in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and a dog my whole life. I want more. But I don't know what. I thought doing a DTS would help make me realize my passions, but it seemed to make them even less defined. I know God has a plan A for my life, but I want to know what that plan is. Or at least a direction to go in. When I go back to Grants Pass, I don't want to feel like I am taking a step backward. I want to keep moving forward. On to my destiny. This is a jumble of thoughts. I hope it somehow makes sense. Anyway, here is a quote I have been repeating over and over to myself- 'If God can make a shepard a king, turn fishermen into world changers, and a group of slaves into a nation, what more can He do with you?' I know there is a plan and a purpose for me, I just need to not rest until I find it.